Muse | Sarah Blondin of Live Awake
I am a true believer that we are always right where we are supposed to be. Sometimes we must stumble in the dark just so we can remember how beautiful the light truly is. Sometimes we come across a special soul who takes our hand and soothes our hearts in the darkest nights. Someone who reminds us to trust, to have faith, to be still. Someone who has been there. Someone with the courage and kindness to share such a gift of love.
This beautiful being was one of those souls for me.
Recently I have had the honor of interviewing Sarah Blondin of Live Awake and I am thrilled that she is my first featured muse here on the Catori Life blog. I first came across her meditations on insight timer and found myself weeping at a comfort I didn’t even know I needed. In deep gratitude I am beyond delighted to share with you a woman who has been a huge guide and inspiration to me on my path of healing and wellbeing. I hope you find comfort and inspiration from the conversation that follows…and please be sure to take a listen to her podcast.
When I discovered your guided meditations I felt such a deep resonance with your voice and your calm, gentle and kind words. Your meditations are so unique compared to most others I’ve heard. Your words are loving and soothing and it feels as if you are speaking directly to me. I can feel your authenticity and love and that is really special. What led you to begin sharing guided meditations in this unique way?
When I was pregnant with my first son, I followed my spirits request to move away from the busy city of Vancouver, into the quiet countryside. I was isolated and stripped of my usual means of escape and forced to sit in solitude with myself.
I endured a very uncomfortable dismantling of who I thought I was, the pain was almost unbearable, so much so, that at times I thought I wanted to die instead of live through it. The only thing that brought comfort and lightness to this hard place, was my journaling.
When I would write about my struggles, an encouraging and loving voice began to reply, one that would gently and lovingly shift my attention to what I was learning to unearth. I thought the insights were beautiful and poetic, so when my newborn son was napping, I would record the writings and discoveries I unearthed. Music was a big part of my healing also, so I added my favorite songs and a short meditation at the end of each piece and they became- Live Awake.
Essentially, the content is my private journals and the beauty that came to support and encourage me when I was enduring the upheaval of great change. I still write daily, and still, the loving voice comes to my rescue. I now call my writing practice-‘ my umbilical cord to the Divine’, and the voice that speaks through me, is what I have come to know as the voice of the heart, not just available to me, but to each of us.
What brought you into the path of deep self-love and healing that is the foundation of your work?
Becoming a mother is what most profoundly taught me about self-love. It was in giving myself completely to another that I discovered I had a self that needed caring for. Before my sons, I was mostly complacent and not at all disciplined in self-care, but once I had them, something really changed in me. I became deeply intimate with my body, mind, and spirit, and really learned to care for myself for the first time.
When you have a child you give birth to this new life, but you too give birth to a new you. This new self needs the same tender care as your newborn does. Time, of course, becomes an issue, as you are always busy tending to your children, but this was a blessing to me because it forced me to become very deliberate and disciplined with how and what I did with my spare time.
I loved and continue to love myself as if my very life depends on it.
The moments in between mothering now are filled with self-care, I don’t negotiate myself out of it. I sit, I write, I breathe, I care for my root.
What is the most profound effect that a self-love practice has had on your life?
Self-love taught me compassion, not just for myself but for all life. In learning to love and listen to myself, my nerves were exposed to the air. I became more sensitive, more in tune with every living thing.
While uncomfortable at first, I realized love was waking me up to life.
And I don’t mean just the easy feelings of joy and ecstasy, but of deep suffering and our universal heartache. In this way, I became way more compassionate to the world within me and around me. Self-love helped me love the entire web of life, the complicated, the beautiful, and the hard. It really opened my eyes and heart….and I am eternally grateful for it…all of it…even when it hurts.
Whatare your daily practices? What are some ways you get centered when life feels chaotic and throws you off balance?
I always journal. I have a practice of daily flow writing. I’ve been doing it for close to ten years. Without it, I can’t see or hear straight. I need it to help me untangle and lay flat the noise inside my head. It has saved my life, quite literally many times over. Also, I meditate every day. 10- or 20 minutes, not too long, but it relieves me. Lets me not “do”. Helps me remember I’m still here. And a recent practice for me is prayer, several times a day. I kneel, I say thank you, I say I’m hurting, confused, scared, I ask for support. Its really been changing me. It helps me see my patterns, how the fear usually comes in the late afternoon, how joy is most alive in the mornings, how I feel defeated most days around lunchtime. It is so helpful to see your patterns, it lets you feel at ease, like “oooh, don’t worry, love, this is just that time of day”. It keeps you awake and alert to what you are needing and is making me feel more love, hope, and faith.
And last but not least- NATURE! I live on the top of a hill, on over a 100 acres of land. I wilt in the city. I need space to talk to the sky, the grass, the Ravens. PLAY, with my two wildings. Every day we play…which is really a practice of sincere presence.
What brings you joy?
My husbands laugh. His kind eyes, huge hands. Coffee in the morning is my definition of heaven. Dusk and dawn. Seeing a raven, owl or hawk…they are my guides. Poetry by Mary Oliver, Rumi, Hafiz. A good bowl of spaghetti. How my littlest son say’s “I love you, mama.” And “wook it” instead of ‘look it.’ The smell of a horse, hugging a horse, a horse running, basically, anything to do with horses. Wildflowers, white lilies, tulips, eucalyptus. Frankincense essential oil. Writing, forever writing. Hot baths. Quiet. Cobblestone. Adobe architecture. Romancing, and daydreams of moving to the Mediterranean when I’m older. The smell of old books. Every morning.
There are times when many of us feel a little disconnected and numb. What are some ways that you connect to spirit, love, god, whatever you call it, in those times when it’s the hardest?
Oh, numbness…my old friend. I believe it comes to us, just as seasons do. This kind of quieting of life, just like at the end of harvest or before the first snow. I try and embrace it now, as best as I can, by not trying to change it. To just practice being ok, with not being ok. I pout sometimes though, worry joy and vitality will never come back…but it always does…always…If I’m really stuck, I call someone I love, usually my brother, and I wake up.
I reach for love. And a walk through the bush does wonders too. I sing sometimes too, that can help me feel again.
But if your disconnect has been lingering on too long, numbness can be shifted I find if I change what I call it. What I really think numbness is, is hopelessness disguised, so if instead, you can admit-“I am feeling hopeless” a vein opens back up and we become more tender, vulnerable. When we see what is really hiding underneath the numbness, we can hold ourselves better, and then more easily are brought back into our hearts.
What does living a beautiful life mean to you?
Being a student to you and your heart. So many of us neglect to explore and befriend ourselves. We in this way rob ourselves of being instructed to the things that will ultimately fill and sustain us. There are so many gifts waiting to be given, tailored just for us if we are willing to look within.
Life is the most beautiful when I am devoted to my heart. We are what we have been looking for.
I think it’s so beautiful when people find the inspiration to share what has healed them with others. What is it like knowing that your work has had, and is having such a profound effect on the people who hear it?
I am in a constant state of being awestruck. I could have never imagined the impact this work would have on the world. It has been the kindest and loving windfall for me. I am more convinced than ever, that the great mystery is benevolent and kind. I hope to continue to evolve and share what I discover in my journey led by the voice of the heart.
Thank you Sarah, beautiful heart for sharing with us once again, such beauty and wisdom. I deeply appreciate you sister.
"She decided after waking from what felt like years of sleep, that nature was responsible for loving her awake. She decided the earth breathed its grace up from the roots of her feet. The trees gathered together to give her grounded strength. She decided the wind carried loving whispers from the divine to her slumbering ears. She decided the sky showered her with wisdom and mirrored the boundless nature of every soul walking this earth.
When her eyes opened she saw before her a playground of light, each beam reaching toward her. She understood for the first time it seemed that the life resting in the spaces between her bones was meant to be lived with every fiber. Was meant to be fiercely loved and honored and savored.
She decided after waking from what felt like years of sleep, that she would live forevermore wide open to all that came to be in front of her. She decided that living awake was a choice, and in that moment she became free. And in that moment she chose to be the beam of light that reaches toward all other life, to be the beam that assists the earth in breathing and loving others awake."
Sarah Blondin is the founder, writer, videographer and podcast host for 'live awake'.
She lives with her two beautiful son's and husband in British Columbia, Canada.
You can also follow her on Instagram @sarahfinds